God is Drawing Me

As I was waiting to be baptized in water on June 9, 2013, I fell on my face before God and begged Him to let this be the beginning of my life IN Christ. IN Christ. No more empty promises to Him, no more faking anything, no more going through the motions, no more counterfeit worship. No. I crave so much to live IN Him, to move and have my being IN Him. As I surrendered to Him and made a public confession of my faith and devotion on that night in June, I believe that God has begun to make changes in me that has never taken place before. On this beautiful Saturday morning, I learned what walking in Christ should look like and where my walk is exactly. 

Colossians 2:6 -  "Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him." 

     "If we have received Christ Himself in our inmost hearts, our new life will display its intimate acquaintance with Him by a walk of faith in Him. Walking implies action. Our Christian life is not to be confined to our closet; our belief must be revealed in our practice. If a man walks in Christ, then he must act as Christ would act; since Christ is in him - his hope, his love, his joy, his life - he is the reflection of the image of Jesus; and men will say of that man, "He is like his Master; he lives like Jesus Christ.

     Walking signifies progress. "So walk in Him." Proceed from grace to grace; run forward until you reach the ultimate degree of knowledge that a man can attain concerning Christ. Walking implies continuance. There must be a continual abiding in Christ."

Stop. Is my life displaying an intimate acquaintance with Christ? No. I know that when I look at myself, I am still seeing me instead of Him. I have not been abiding in Christ on a continual basis. *SIGH* Lord, I am sorry. Please help me. 

     "Many Christians think that in the morning and evening they ought to come into the company of Jesus, but regard the rest of the day as their own: But this is poor living; we should always be with Him, treading in His steps and doing His will."

WOW! I've never thought of it like that before, but it's so true! I have been mindful of God, of Jesus, only in those times that I have set apart to spend with Him. The rest of my day is just that... mine. Oh Lord, please help me!

     "Walking also implies habit. When we speak of a man's walk and conversation, we mean his habits, the constant theme of his life.

     Now, if we sometimes enjoy Christ and then forget Him, sometimes call Him ours and then lose our hold, that is not a habit; we do not walk in Him. We must keep to Him, cling to Him, never let Him go, but live and have our being in Him."

My heart is further saddened as I am more convicted here. I have not been walking in Christ, at least not continually. This section describes me exactly - sometimes enjoying Christ and then forgetting Him, sometimes calling Him mine and then losing my hold to His hand - and the Holy Spirit is gently showing this to me. Christ is not yet the constant theme of my life. My spirit cries out to God to make me His beyond a shadow of a doubt.   

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that because I'm not perfect, I'm not being saved. No. I am saying that I am so fickle, inconsistent, and even distant. If I desire to walk in Him, then I need to not lose heart in doing good. I need to pray without ceasing. I need to turn my mind towards Him ALL the time... not just in the mornings or evenings when I am praying. I don't want to make excuses. Jesus willingly gave his life unto death - a painful beyond understanding death - on a cross for my sins. I owe Him much more than I am giving Him.  

     "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him"; persevere in the same way in which you began and just as at the beginnig Christ Jesus was the trust of your faith, the source of your life, the principle of your action, and the joy of your spirit, so let Him be the same until life's end, the same when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death and enter into the joy and the rest that remain for the people of God. O Holy Spirit, enable us to obey this heavenly precept."

Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness even when I am lazy and selfish. You are good and your love endures forever. Thank You for being so gentle in showing me that I have wavered. You are with me, leading me in the everlasting way, and giving me strength when I need it. Yes, Lord, enable me to cling to You fervently and continually.  In Jesus' great and mighty name I pray!

(Devotional material is taken from "Morning and Evening", written by C.H. Surgeon, revised and updated by Alistair Begg. TruthforLife.org)