Dear God ~ Create in Me a Clean Heart

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away fro Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit."  Psalm 51:10-12

Dear God,

How dare I try to be fake before You!; Almighty, all-knowing God of the universe. You see everything; Right through this flesh into the depths of my soul. Neither my thoughts nor my motives can hide from You. You are the very One who created me! You knew me before I was ever in my mother's womb. 

This anger and pride deep inside of me does no surprise You. You are never caught off-guard. You know my thoughts. You know my desires. You know my heart. It is impossible to fool You and yet here I am plotting the dialogue to be spoken before you as though my pretty words impress You; as though eloquence can cover my wretchedness.  

You are God.  I am woman. 

You are holy.  I am wretched. 

You are truth.  I am deceit. 

You are worthy.  I am evil. 

You are love.  I am hate. 

You are pure.  I am stained. 

Is there hope for a wretch like me? Where is my faith? Where is my trust? Where is my belief? 

My soul is dying. My heart is parched. I stand at the well of living water. I am dry and thirsty, yet I just stand. Unbelief and fear shackle my wrists. Pride and anger shackle my ankles.  I am dying to break free.

A broken and a contrite heart You will not despise. 

Deliver me, O God, the God of my salvation!