WARNING:
You are about to read an extremely personal and transparent post.
(That's my intention for this blog anyway.)
I have practically fallen off the face of the blog world. That's not so bad, I suppose, but I would like to stay connected with other homeschooling bloggers out there. I get a lot of encouragement (and fabulous ideas) from all the said bloggers. I know it's not the same as having a relationship with real people.... IN PERSON, but there in comfort in knowing you're not alone when you get the privilege to peak into another person's experience down the same road, especially when there isn't very many people around you who are in the same boat. (I have yet to find a homeschool support group). While my blog may not have very many fabulous ideas, I hope to encourage my fellow homeschooling families with this blog journal (and, of course, to keep a record of all this for myself).
With all that being said, I must admit that I have been struggling lately. I think I am just plain discouraged. Why? First, I must give some background information...... I am a planner. I have a plan for EVERYTHING: a monthly cleaning calendar, a monthly dinner menu, a daily routine plan, lesson plans for the kids, etc.... I. Am. A. Planner. However, and seemingly contradictory, one of my many many many faults is that I don't TRULY commit to anything. I can't keep a regular routine for longer than 3 weeks! When I don't at least have a plan, I feel absolutely lost, out of control and certainly downcast. That's not to say that I always follow "the plan", but if I have a plan written on paper, where I can SEE it, I feel like I'm ok. I am also a visual person!
And lets not talk about the chores that aren't getting done either. I'm barely floating in that department right now too. I haven't quite figured out when (during the day) and how to teach the children to help with small chores that they are capable to accomplish.
Honestly, I could go on and on.
I don't really know how to end this particular post. If you can give me some feedback, I would appreciate that. More importantly, I would appreciate your prayers.
Cyndi-I can totally relate to this! I think you have to realize that you won't be the perfect teacher, but no one is. Public school kids end up with gaps in thier education too, because teaching is not an exact science. I decided that as long as I teach my kids to read, write, speak, and do basic math well, they will have the tools to fix any holes I have created in their education otherwise for themselves.
ReplyDeleteMost importantly, the spiritual & character education they will receive as they watch you depend on God for help & wisdom is priceless! So, do your best, but if you are not perfect that is okay. God knows what we need &will be faithful to help us accomplish the task that he called us to!
Love,
Twana
There are days like this in every school calendar, where there is less effective education happening. What you are describing, however is a typical h.school experience, b/c our greatest intentions are thwarted by the tyranny of the urgency of the laundry beep, the boiling pot screeching, the phone ringing. I want to encourage you to continue making your best, perfect plans but to remember that God knows "the plans I have for you". Your kids might need skills to work in a chaotic work envirnoment someday. They might need to learn the strength of regaining focus. They may require learning that takes perseverence to finish. In getting back to your goals, you are teaching those things. In learning flexibility, you stretch as an educator to allow for "teachable moments" that you had not perceived as important, but are valuable to your two kiddos. This creates a balanced educational plan. Who are we, as teachers, to know everything? God has some plans & your kid has some too. Let them be a part of your process and it will feel like real teamwork! It's ok to be derailed & bucked off our schedule, but in getting back on track or on our horse, we demonstrate the value to do those good things that we planned.
ReplyDeletePractically: write 2-5 things on a white board or 3X5 card each day that are your essential goals. Tell your kids, verbally what they are. Get these done & be flexible with the rest...it's the beauty of hschooling. When they are 2nd grade & up there are stretches of mommy time in the day for them to work & you to accomplish the rest of mothering, wife-ing, and homemaking. Until then, you gotta roll with it, baby. You are going to be fine. They are going to be bright learners. Don't beat yourself up if you let a blog go, or if you eat PBJs for dinner. It's a good life & you won't regret these times with your babies. Enjoy the moment & give yourself some grace.
PS. This is a great time to try out different curriculum approaches unti you find what works for you. Beware, however, thinking that you can be everything to everybody. That's a job only God can do.
Loved reading your honesty. You are a great mom. Hug your babies for me. Wish we could meet in the park & let them play while we compared teaching ideas. Please keep searching for some hschool friends there!!
-joanie
Hi Cindy! Thank you for sharing your heart with us! I want to ENcourage you! Hang in there! Mommyhood is the hardest job on this planet and you are doing an awesome job! Maybe you need what I like to call a "Mommy time out" for coffee with a girlfriend or alone or do whatever you need to do to recharge you. I also struggle with how to get all the chores done and I recently found an idea that is working for our family that I blogged about on my blog. Maybe it will help you and your littles too. Hang in there, breathe, and know that I am praying for you!
ReplyDeleteTrina
www.teachingmyblessings.blogspot.com
This is such a beautiful, honest post about some of the realities of young children! It looks like our daughters are the same age, and I'll be homeschooling her next year too! I also really appreciate all the "virtual support," and I definitely think you should know that you are doing a fabulous job. Every time I come by your blog, I think, "Her kids are so lucky!" Keep up the good work...and don't be afraid of stealing a little time for yourself or letting a few chores slide! ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this at Teach Me Tuesday too!