In my last post, I talked about being thankful for the trials and difficulties of life. In my last The Homeschool Mother's Journal post, I talked about just wanting more of the Lord. I also shared my heart's desire last month. Is it coincidence now that I find myself walking through a trial? I think not.
I suspect that God may have been preparing me for this present affliction, unbeknownst to me. That's good because it's always best to be prepared for the storms rather than to panic and try to find something to hold onto in the middle of them.
Today, I am going to the hospital for a CT scan on my abdomen try to find out why I have been having such horrible pains. Bladder infection has been ruled out and my blood shows elevated levels of white cells. That may just be normal for me, or it may mean I have an infection somewhere. It's hard to say since I don't have any blood work such as this to compare this one to.
These pains I have been experiencing are no joke. The only relief I get is by just being still. Absolutely still. To get up and sit down, up and down all day is to have more of this pain. To walk around is to have more pain. To bend over, or pick up anything with any kind of weight is to have more pain. To laugh, cough, sneeze or to be jarred in any way is to have seriously sharp pain.
If you know me, you know that I have an extremely low tolerance for pain; so low it's basically nonexistent. That's not an exaggeration. Ask my husband and my mother. :-D
In the past, I have had anxiety, fear and stress come over me when I encounter such pain. However, to God be the glory, I am absolutely calm and worry-free about any of these pains or what the causes might be! It's only because of God's grace that I am able to endure.
Thank You, Father!
There are a couple of people who have openly declared that they are worried about me. The only response I can come up with is: "Put your worry away" and "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
That kind of peace only comes as we are in constant fellowship with the Lord, conversing with Him and hiding His Word in our hearts.
I have asked for prayers and I'm sure everyone is praying for healing, which is good. I believe in Divine healing, however, I am praying for God's will to be done in this situation. I desire to seek only His glory to be revealed and reflected in my life so that others may be drawn to Him. If God will get glory from healing this corruptible body of mine, then I fully accept it. If God will get glory from letting me walk through this affliction, thus conforming me to His image and teaching me to rely fully on His strength, then I accept that. It is well with my soul. I ask for God's guidance, wisdom and strength.
Guys (and gals), I just know the Joy and Solid Rock that I have found, which is Christ Jesus. I'm just stating the facts. Jesus is the righteous ruler, sitting at the right hand of God the Father. His Holy Spirit is my comfort and the river of living water.
My soul cries out for more of the Lord and less of me. I am willing to accept anything that life throws at me if it will conform me to His image. Temporal comfort means nothing to me if it doesn't draw me to Him.
To be closer to Him, reflecting only His glory, is all that matters to me.
Linking up with Fellowship Fridays
I am so sorry to hear of your suffering.
ReplyDeleteMay Our Heavenly Father who can do much more than we ask and who loves His children, heal you swiftly and make you sound.
My prayers are heading toward heaven even now.
I love you sis. hang in there.
Your love for the Lord is an inspiration! I believe in divine healing and look forward to hearing your testimony. Praying for healing grace..
ReplyDeletePraying for you and glad you know Jesus as your healer. Some times we have to go through things but He is always with us and one day we will understand. Knowing you like I do you will glorify Him in all things. Love you Ms.Kathy.
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